Some LGBTQ History at UUFR, by Cathy Murphy
I moved to Raleigh in October 1988 and joined UUFR soon after. Prior to that I had had very little interaction with anyone I knew to be LGBTQ+.
UUFR’s “Interweave” group for LGBTQ people and allies started meeting in the 90s. I joined and they eventually had an email list and I, as an ally, was listed as a contact in the OOS for a while. People contacting Interweave were directed to resources, other members and added to the email list, if desired.
During one of the meetings a transgender member, Diane Wilson, came out to the group and later did a homily on her journey, which was well-received. I felt touched and honored to be present for her sharing. What had been something beyond my comprehension suddenly made sense to me, once I saw the experience through her words.
Other services conducted by Interweave members included “Queer Eye for the Not So Straight Congregation” in 2005, using some humor in our message, and Tracy Hollister led one on marriage equality in 2008.
We participated in the Welcoming Congregation workshop, with leadership by Bernise Lynch and Julia Schelly, leading to our certification.
We had a table a couple of times at UUFR volunteer fairs. A woman came out to me as lesbian after one of those events and was given some resources.
Some other activities designed to educate Fellowship members and be more inclusive included participation in local pride marches with booths, hosting some movies for the Fellowship and a local high school GSA panel. We had LGBT-friendly game nights and hosted occasional Drag Bingo, a local fundraiser for an AIDS organization. I truly enjoyed the celebratory atmosphere of the Pride parades in which I participated. Although here in 2024 LGBTQ+ people still don’t have full equality and still face discrimination, hatred and violence, I could sense the joy of feeling free to be themselves in the larger supportive community of Pride Fests – a freedom I had taken for granted.
The former Methodist minister Jimmy Creech conducted a service on LGBT rights. He had performed a ceremony of union services for 2 gay couples and was later defrocked by the United Methodists in 1999. I remember he used the analogy of 2 kinds of flower seeds in explaining that if you’re a sunflower seed, you won’t grow into a rose…
On Dec. 12, 2004 we unanimously voted for a “statement of conscience” from UUFR to support gay marriage. Prior to that, Rev Julie Denny-Hughes gave a sermon on gay marriage called “By the Authority Vested in Me”. In one day she conducted both a wedding service and a civil union. That caused her to reflect on the many differences these 2 couples experienced. She then refused to sign marriage licenses for straight couples as a form of civil protest. She would continue to perform the religious ceremony, however.
We started an interfaith marriage equality project in 2005, named Equal Hearts, with leadership by Tracy Hollister. This led to hundreds of people from different faiths filling out colorful foam hearts which said why they supported marriage equality. We received TV and newspaper coverage. We hung these from supports forming upside down triangles. This was taken to the UU General Assembly in 2005 with 700 people from around the country participating. These hearts were carried in the NC Pride parade that year, winning the most colorful award!
UUFR has provided meeting space for the Triangle Gay-Straight Alliance Network to support GSA’s in our schools and provide space for adult allies for school initiatives. We’ve had UUFR members who are strong PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) leaders who do a lot of local organizing with Wake schools.
UUFR members provided much support to defeat Amendment One, including hosting a lot of phone banking, etc.
Same-sex marriage was legally recognized in North Carolina on October 10, 2014. Revs John Saxon & Karla Brockie performed some of the first legal marriages in Raleigh.
Member Maddy Goss led us in our first Transgender Day of Remembrance ritual.
I feel great pride in the efforts of UUFR to promote equal rights for LGBTQ+ people. I treasure the friendships I made through those activities, and I feel that what I learned has helped educate me and has greatly enriched my life.
In gratitude.
